My wife and I celebrated our 19th anniversary on Valentine’s Day. Before marriage, we dated for three years. Author Maxine Rock wrote a book titled The Marriage Map. She said marriage has seven different stages. For instance, she calls the first three years the “fantasy” years. According to her book, I am one year away from reaching the “New Freedom” stage.
I recommend her book to anyone who is either engaged or married. Like different seasons, marriages will change because people change. Are you the same person from two years ago? Of course not. Your taste in food and music may have probably changed. Perhaps you no longer enjoy amusement parks or drinking with co-workers. By now, you may prefer just driving home and relaxing with a good book. So what’s the secret of a successful marriage? After 19 years, I still don’t know.
But I would consider communication as the key. As long as you communicate with your spouse and spend quality time together, your marriage can work. Unfortunately, many couples stop speaking to each other or even share a meal. I eat dinner with my wife every night. We use the time to discuss sports, Facebook topics, or the news. It doesn’t matter what you discuss if you keep communication lines open.
Someone once referenced the fine line between love and hate. Whoever said it was probably married because married people walk that line like a tightrope.
For the past 22 years, my wife and I have faced illness, death, disappointment, and failure. But these moments have strengthened us.
Several years after my grandfather had died, I asked my grandmother if she ever considered dating. She said when you have had the best, you won’t settle for less. My grandfather was the best. Until the day she died, she never wavered from her statement. I can relate because I feel the same about my wife.
Marc is a grandparent and longtime resident of Clermont County. Visit his author page at http://www.lifewithgrandpa.com and blog at www.wisegrandpa.com