My wife continues to experience grief from losing her mother. Whenever loved ones die, we must learn to live without them; our memories are all we have left.
After Barb’s death, we had the difficult task of cleaning out her small apartment. Even in death, she gave us signs of her presence.
Barb had a landline phone that plugged into the wall. I had unplugged it and wrapped the cord around it. One morning while my wife and I were in the apartment, Barb’s phone rang. I answered it. No one was on the other line. It startled us because the phone was unplugged. So how did it ring without any power?
Another incident was her heating system, which she usually kept on. Before cleaning her place, we turned the heating unit off. One morning, the heat turned itself on. Since her heating unit was controlled manually, it could not have turned itself on. My wife and I looked at each other because neither of us had touched it. We chalked it up to one of life’s unexplained mysteries.
We recently celebrated what would have been her 77th birthday had she lived. But Barb chose not to let death spoil the day. While outside in our rock garden, a beautiful butterfly appeared from nowhere. Strangely, it didn’t leave. It stayed near my wife and grandson and even let us hold it.
My mother-in-law knew my wife loved butterflies. We think it was her way of contacting us. When loved ones die, they never leave us. They still let us know they are here.
But you must be alert to see the signs. It can be as soft as a butterfly’s kiss, flickering lights or even the faint smell of a favorite perfume or cologne worn by the deceased.
Author John Banville explained it best. “We carry the dead with us only until we die, and then it is we who are borne along for a little while, and then our bearers in their turn drop, and so on into the unimaginable generations.”
Marc is a grandparent and longtime resident of Clermont County. Visit his author page at http://www.lifewithgrandpa.com and his blog at http://www.wisegrandpa.com.