The answer could only be “yes.”

Still, it was the hardest decision you’ ve ever made. You couldn’t do it – but then again, you could- n’t not: Dad fell, then he fell ill and your home was the logical place for him to be. You’ve had help, naturally, but you could always use more and in “AARP Meditations for Caregivers” by Barry J. Jacobs, PsyD and Julia L. Mayer, PsyD, you may find it.

Forty million people.

According to reports, that’s how many Ameri- cans “provide unpaid care to cherished family mem- bers or friends each year.” If you’ re one of them, say the authors, you know that caregiving can be re- warding and meaningful, but also exhausting, “transformative,” and “stressful in many ways.” With this book in hand, you don’t have to feel

alone while offering that care.

When a loved one needs day-to-day help, whether at her home, yours, or a nursing home, a dozen different feelings may swirl inside you. Accept those feelings and exam- ine them, say the authors, but don’t judge them. The best way to find compas- sion is to offer it to our- selves first.

It’s natural to feel anger at any time, but you can deal with it by acknowl- edging the frustration that leads to it. Put yourself in your loved one’s place and remember that “We have the power to shift our perspective[s].” Take a deep breath, and “take some time to find creative solutions.”

Know your breaking point and ask for help be- fore you reach it; don’t, in fact, ever be afraid to ask for help. Remember, too, that your parent / spouse

is an adult and may still be capable of decision- making.

Keep a schedule but don’t be so rigid that you can’t appreciate spontane- ity. Try to maintain a sense of humor in some way. Ask to hear old sto- ries and memories, as a way to boost joy for you both. “Seek reasons to be grateful…” Understand that you may grieve now more than later, and that you simply can’t control everything, so go ahead and “ease up on your- self…”

Much as I liked the sen- timent behind “AARP Meditations for Care- givers,” there was one thing I struggled with: the stories accompanying the meditations.

Roughly divided into “twenty-eight themes,” this book walks readers through nearly every emotion they may be feel- ing at any stage of care-

giving. You don’t have to read cover to cover; pick a page, though, and you’ ll be presented with an an- ecdote that just doesn’t feel authentic. Yes, it’s representative of what caregivers may be experi- encing but after awhile, those tales weaken the book.

Scan past them, how- ever and you’ ll find that clinical psychologist-au- thors Barry Jacobs and Julia Mayer include gen- tle succor to end their mini-chapters – and therein lies the reason why you need this book: Those words of wisdom, and not the “stories,” are packed with power and mind-changing thought- provokers that could turn your day around. They could be lifesavers. They will make a difference.

And for those very rea- sons, the only answer to “AARP Meditations for Caregivers” is “yes.”