When I think back on my childhood I recall so many fond and unforgettable people, places and events. Now when looking back I refer to them as the good old days and for the most part and they were. However one part of those days was anything but good and that was an outside bathroom. At the time it was referred to as an outhouse or privy. Growing up on a farm was something I would never want to exchange and I loved the outdoors but a person can be outside too much and this is a prime example. Once dad dug a new pit and moved the privy (which happens) but when you are four and it is dark out it can be a real trauma looking for it when it was needed.
So dad decided it was time to make the high society move and install an in house bathroom! I can’t remember exactly when but it was before my 5th birthday for sure. Also when dad worked on the house it was always in winter months when he had the time. He and mom picked a small bedroom that connected into the kitchen. The room was long and kind of narrow. Small bedroom but big for a bathroom. Not only were we installing indoor plumbing but a BIG bathroom to boot. The Housers’ were movin on up!
When you are 4or 5 years old time moves slowly so to me it seemed that it took months to install this addition to our home but it probably was only a few weeks. All I recall is that dad and another man did the carpentry and the electrical work on the room. As to the plumbing I can’t recall the man’s name but do remember he was a very heavy man and worked at his pace and on his terms. (Plumbers were even harder to come by back then I guess). When the installing of the fixtures came into sight my entire family was in total excitement. The tub went in first. A beauty of white enameled metal. Then the sink. A luxury to have a spot just for washing hands and primping. But last but definitely not the least and definitely the most important fixture was the toilet. All went well until the plumber prepared to hook it up. When he went to look for the parts of a commode that work its function, he couldn’t find them. It seems as legend has it the youngest of the family had found these parts on the floor and decided to take to another unknown part of the house to play with. So when the plumber couldn’t find the internal workings he declared that he could not move forward and complete the bathroom all had been waiting on. I have been told that dad calmly ask me where the parts were and that I responded and took off to another room thinking I would lead him to the parts. Wrong! He ask me again and again and each time I babbled something and took off with now the entire family following. After quite a while the plumber annouced as he sat on the toilet in all his heavy splendor and told dad it wasn’t a problem to him as he was paid by the hour. Dad and family then decided following me was a true waist of time and they spread out and searched the house and eventually found what I guess was The Holy Grail of parts. The final fixture was completed. all yelled hurrah, and I was spared a whipping.
After the newest and most popular addition was up and running there was one more item of business to attend to. What to do with the outhouse? This is truly amazing to me but has stuck in my head forever about my dad. Our privy was a one seater and not really fancy but was solidly built and kept painted. Also dad built it on runners so it could be moved when needed. It happened that a man was building a new home about .75 miles from us and was in need of an outhouse. Now Carl could either build one or find one not needed by someone. Dad went to Carl and told him if he wanted he could have ours. He came and sized it out and looked it over. Then he told dad he would take it! Sold he said. He gave my dad 15.00 for our privy. Made me a believer that dad was the best in sales ever. To this day I can still see Carl in his car with a chain wrapped around the base of the privy with the other end fastened to his rear bumper and him driving away pulling his new purchase up our driveway and onto the road headed to his place. To this day I have never ever heard of such a building being sold or towed down the highway.
Out of the event of remodeling I learned that anything is for sale. That paying skilled labor can be costly. That any structure can be relocated. Most of all that my dad was a patient man because he should have tanned my hide and nobody would have blamed him. Best of all was that we all learned reading the Sears catalogue was much more enjoyable than having to use it.
Rick Houser grew up near Moscow in Clermont County and likes talking about growing up on the farm and other topics. He may be reached at houser734@yahoo.com.