The Bethel Village Council took a few minutes during the March 26 meeting to jab the solicitor a few times, suggesting that his job description may be impossible to write, considering nobody really knows what he does.

Councilman Gary Hutchinson, who has been working on creating a new set of comprehensive job descriptions, presented the council with his work and asked them to review them before making a decision about enacting them by resolution.

“The only job description missing is the one for the solicitor,” said Hutchinson. “I didn’t write a job description for the solicitor. I thought, I thought and I thought, and no thoughts came to me. I looked for one, and could only find a vague reference for the english word ‘barrister.’ I’ve never seen him wearing a white, curly wig, so I concluded he probably wasn’t a barrister. After careful thought and research, I concluded that I’m not sure what he does, and probably only he knows. But I did find some interesting facts, no matter what font he chooses, it always comes out in fine print. Another interesting fact is, if a solicitor was a godfather, he would be able to make an offer you can’t understand. It’s my recommendation that the solicitor be allowed to make his own job description, because only he can describe something that nobody else can understand.”